COLORADO SPRINGS, CO – The Whittaker Council of Cardinals completed their deliberations this morning as a new actor was established to secure the warm welcoming voice of the ice cream maker and businessman extraordinaire. Phil Crowley was robed with his vestments by the council today, and took on his new name John Francis Avery Whittaker. He stated in his announcement that he was incredibly humbled to take on such an important role.
Phil Lollar added that he would’ve loved to install Whit as the actual pope of the Catholic Church, however too many opponents told him “no”.
[Joke stolen from E. Stephen Burnett on Facebook.]
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