Local Man Got 90% of His Advanced Vocabulary from Eugene

BOISE, IDAHO- An Idaho man named Nathaniel Peterson was veritably breathless upon discovering that 90% of his vocabulary had come from Adventures in Odyssey’s Eugene Meltsner.

According to Peterson, the vast majority of words he knows — like ‘felicitations,’ ‘colloquialism,’ and ‘indubitably’ — were gleaned directly from the scripts of the Adventures in Odyssey tapes he listened to as a child.

“I wouldn’t know half as much without AIO,” Winstead thought to himself as he noticed the word ‘maladroit.’ “I think that I learned about amoebae from Meltsner, too. Man, that was such a great show. I should pull out those CDs again to learn some new words.”

“He brought up the possibility of radio and brain wave interaction the other day, just out of the blue,” said Nathaniel’s wife, Jessie. “I asked him where he got that, and he sat there for a minute before reminiscing about something called “Novacom.”

At publishing time, Winstead had also traced most of his knowledge of chemistry, computer science, and biology back to Adventures in Odyssey.

(This post is a parody of a Babylon Bee article that can be found here.)