Tag: Satirical Odyssey News Network
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Bart Rathbone Announces His Run For Mayor Of Odyssey In Next Election 15 Minutes After Conceding Last Election
ODYSSEY, USA – Bart Rathbone just conceded the election to current mayor Spencer Hicks. Shortly after, he announced his run for Mayor in two years, after the term was up. “Odyssey needs a leader with some self-respect. I am da man with that respect for uhh, friends, family, and countryfellow. So I am officially throwin’…
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Uninformed Odyssey Fan Actually Likes The Video Series
Hope, Arkansas – A self proclaimed fan of Adventures in Odyssey recently came out in support of the Adventures in Odyssey video series. In this seemingly simple statement, she outed herself as totally clueless and ignorant. When faced with the facts of Odyssey and that the video series (although enjoyable for young children) is complete…
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Connie Late to Work After First Snow of the Year
ODYSSEY, USA – Today, the first snow of the winter fell in Odyssey. On her way to work, Connie rode in her car and spun off the road. She totaled the red Prelude gifted to her by Mr. Whittaker at Christmas, years ago. Reportedly she was combing her hair and took both hands off the…
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Eugene Meltsner and Tom Riley Reunite in Heaven
HEAVEN- Today Eugene Meltsner and Tom Riley reunited in Heaven. Tom passed away years ago, and they met again for a joyous reunion. Eugene greeted Tom with “Greeting and salutation my dear companion!” It has been far too long since we last interacted.” Tom, ignoring the flowery nonsense, embraced Eugene. Tom said “Howdy Eugene! It’s…
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John Whittaker Files Lawsuit Against Focus on The Family For Defamatory Video Series
ODYSSEY, USA – Local business owner John Whittaker filed a lawsuit against Evangelical organization Focus on the Family. Reportedly, Focus obtained the rights from Whittaker to write a video series about Whittaker and his ice cream shop “Whit’s End.” Whittaker is now in court with Focus on the Family’s lawyers because Whittaker sees the video…
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Junior Steps Into the Odyssey Universe to Tell Emily to Call the Police
TUSTIN, CA- Junior Asparagus has reportedly jumped universes in great haste upon hearing about Emily’s situation. He got the call from a podcast host who wished to remain anonymous. However, he rushed in later to find out what the problem was. “I saw on this website that Emily was being harassed by this computer hack.…
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Jared DeWhite to Start Hosting His Own Show on Info Wars
AUSTIN, TX – Jared DeWhite went on Alex Jones’ show today to announce his brand new show that will be joining the website Banned.video. His show will be called “What’s Right? with Jared DeWhite.” Jones interviewed DeWhite asking him about what kind of content the people can expect from DeWhite’s new show. DeWhite said “It…
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Jules Laughs Maniacally As She Gets Buck To Fall Into Trouble Once Again
ODYSSEY, USA – Jules Kendall is reportedly laughing her head off right now after getting her “friend” Buck Oliver to fall into criminal activity once again. This time, she convinced him to light Whit’s End on fire saying “Buck, if you don’t distract Connie somehow, I won’t be able to grab her credit card to…
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John Avery Whittaker To Start Selling Weight Loss Plan called Whit Solution
ODYSSEY, USA – John Avery Whittaker is releasing a new weight loss plan to the masses. It will be called Whit Solution. It details step-by-step how you can lose weight as quickly and effectively as Whittaker did in the year of 2009. Whittaker reportedly lost over 100 pounds in that short period, along with growing…
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Lawrence Scammed by Green Alien Claiming “15 minutes could save 15% or more”
ODYSSEY, USA- Unfortunately, Odyssey resident Lawrence Hodges was once again scammed by a man claiming to be a “traveling insurance salesman”. He was, when we revealed his mask, actually a lizard alien. We were very disappointed in this man-gecko’s scammery ways. We spoke with Lawrence and he said this: “A second time! It happened a…