Tag: Satire
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John Whittaker Files Lawsuit Against Focus on The Family For Defamatory Video Series
ODYSSEY, USA – Local business owner John Whittaker filed a lawsuit against Evangelical organization Focus on the Family. Reportedly, Focus obtained the rights from Whittaker to write a video series about Whittaker and his ice cream shop “Whit’s End.” Whittaker is now in court with Focus on the Family’s lawyers because Whittaker sees the video…
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Jared DeWhite to Start Hosting His Own Show on Info Wars
AUSTIN, TX – Jared DeWhite went on Alex Jones’ show today to announce his brand new show that will be joining the website Banned.video. His show will be called “What’s Right? with Jared DeWhite.” Jones interviewed DeWhite asking him about what kind of content the people can expect from DeWhite’s new show. DeWhite said “It…
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Jules Laughs Maniacally As She Gets Buck To Fall Into Trouble Once Again
ODYSSEY, USA – Jules Kendall is reportedly laughing her head off right now after getting her “friend” Buck Oliver to fall into criminal activity once again. This time, she convinced him to light Whit’s End on fire saying “Buck, if you don’t distract Connie somehow, I won’t be able to grab her credit card to…
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John Avery Whittaker To Start Selling Weight Loss Plan called Whit Solution
ODYSSEY, USA – John Avery Whittaker is releasing a new weight loss plan to the masses. It will be called Whit Solution. It details step-by-step how you can lose weight as quickly and effectively as Whittaker did in the year of 2009. Whittaker reportedly lost over 100 pounds in that short period, along with growing…
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Lawrence Scammed by Green Alien Claiming “15 minutes could save 15% or more”
ODYSSEY, USA- Unfortunately, Odyssey resident Lawrence Hodges was once again scammed by a man claiming to be a “traveling insurance salesman”. He was, when we revealed his mask, actually a lizard alien. We were very disappointed in this man-gecko’s scammery ways. We spoke with Lawrence and he said this: “A second time! It happened a…
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Morrie Takes Emily to the Top of Whit’s End and Promises Her All the Kingdoms of the Earth if She Admits It Was All “Good”
ODYSSEY, USA – Today Morrie Rydell led Emily Jones to the roof of popular ice cream shop Whit’s End. He told her she could have all the nations of the earth if only she answered his question correctly. Jones scoffed, asking, “what question?” as she rolled her eyes. Rydell replied, “Is all of that, gooooooooooooooood?”…
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Federal Agents Storm House, Arresting Famed Con Artist Living in Odyssey Under The Name Jillian Marshall
ODYSSEY, USA – Federal Agents stormed the house of Connie Kendall today. They were looking for a famous con artist who was living here under the assumed name “Jillian Marshall.” F.B.I. spokesman Fred Thompson gave a briefing to the press that evening saying, “We at the F.B.I. have been working closely with Don Polhaus and…
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Bart and Doris Rathbone Crown Themselves King and Queen of Odyssey Because They Own the Electric Palace
ODYSSEY, USA – Today, Bart and Doris Rathbone crowned themselves as King and Queen of Odyssey. Bart gave a press conference, or as he referred to it, a “royal briefing” to local news outlets. During the press conference, he said “I was sittin’ der with the missus and thinking to myself, why does London have…
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Melanie Jacob’s Fooled Again, This Time Sending All Her Allowance To Joel Osteen
ODYSSEY, USA – Melanie Jacobs’ parents are very disappointed in their daughter after she donated all of her money to famed prosperity gospel teacher, Joel Osteen. Dale and Ann Jacobs found out earlier today that a total of $137.68 was sent by Melanie to Lakewood Church in Houston, TX. When questioning their daughter as to…
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Bernard Walton Proposes New Law That Would Make It A Felony For Children To Touch Windows
ODYSSEY, USA – Bernard Walton proposed a new law that would hopefully make his life a little easier. Walton spends much of his day as a window washer groaning about the mess children leave on windows. The latest incident came about as Walton was cleaning the windows at Whit’s End when he saw Wyatt Perkins…