Tag: Satire
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Local Man Got 90% of His Advanced Vocabulary from Eugene
BOISE, IDAHO- An Idaho man named Nathaniel Peterson was veritably breathless upon discovering that 90% of his vocabulary had come from Adventures in Odyssey’s Eugene Meltsner. According to Peterson, the vast majority of words he knows — like ‘felicitations,’ ‘colloquialism,’ and ‘indubitably’ — were gleaned directly from the scripts of the Adventures in Odyssey tapes he…
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Donald Trump Taps John Whittaker as White House Director of…Something
PALM BEACH, FL- President-Elect Donald Trump has indicated his desire to include John Avery Whittaker among his staff picks for his upcoming four-year term. Trump said he was “looking to fill a particular hole in the government, a moral hole.” He stated he didn’t quite know what Whit would do in the White House but…
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Wilson Knox Begins To Think Maybe He Shouldn’t Have Unbelievers Leading Worship
ODYSSEY, USA – Today local Pastor of Odyssey Community Church Wilson Knox started to rethink who he had leading worship at his church events. Knox has been serving faithfully in his position at the Church for several years now and moved to Odyssey because of his relation to local ice cream shop owner John Whittaker.…
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After Ben Shapiro’s Smashing Success, Bernard Walton Decides to Diss Kids With Dirty Fingers
ODYSSEY, USA- Tom MacDonald decided to let Bernard Walton come into his studio and record after Ben Shapiro declared his “rap Hannukkah” complete this week. The single album highlighted Bernard’s frustration with ice-cream-fingered children, and included lyrics such as “I’ll stuff you with chocolate and call you the Easter bunny”. Many are calling this a…
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M’kalister Park Album Hits Billboard Top 100
NEW YORK, NY- The music album by “M’kalister Park”, the Ceiling Fan AIO tribute band has hit the Top Billboard 100, and hardcore Adventures in Odyssey Fans are finally able to say they liked the show “before it was cool”. In wake of this news, Kevin McCreary has also decided to finally restart the podcast.…
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Bernard returns to Odyssey, surprising residents with his new nose job
ODYSSEY, USA – After an extended absence from the town of Odyssey, longtime resident and window washer Bernard Walton returned. Friends and neighbors of Bernard threw a welcome home party for their friend at local ice cream parlor, Whit’s End. When Bernard came through the door of Whit’s End, many gasped at his new look.…
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Actually, Odyssey’s not in Ohio
NOT OHIO- Interviews with Focus on the Family revealed that Odyssey is not anywhere close to Ohio and that fans please stop associating them with that state. According to Odyssey mayor Hicks, “We no longer want our beautiful town to be connected with Ohioans any longer. While we are honored that outsiders would believe this…
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Connie Excited For Yet Another Valentine’s Day Spent Single
Odyssey, USA – Today resident ice cream shop employee Connie Kendall expressed her total joy over yet another Valentine’s Day spent single. On her show Candid Conversation with Connie on KYDS radio, she delved deep into her dating history. During this radio segment, she talked about her relationships with both Jeff Lewis and Robert Mitchell.…
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Company with app that doesn’t work mad when people share content outside of it*
COLORADO- A corporation came under fire last week after users were banned from social media platforms when they disclosed they had bootlegged episodes off the broken application. Fans’ defense was that the app was broken and they could not use it. PR team’s had this to say in response: I can’t believe fans would subvert…
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All SONN posts come true in the future
THE FUTURE- Our on-site reporter was stuck in the future after a glitch in our “where are they now” machine. The year 2026, which surprisingly we’re all still on earth in, has some news of its own. As well as every even semi-satirical political news post coming true, our own Odyssey-specific news came to pass…