Category: Politics
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Donald Trump Taps John Whittaker as White House Director of…Something
PALM BEACH, FL- President-Elect Donald Trump has indicated his desire to include John Avery Whittaker among his staff picks for his upcoming four-year term. Trump said he was “looking to fill a particular hole in the government, a moral hole.” He stated he didn’t quite know what Whit would do in the White House but…
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Trump Promises to Put “Crooked Bart” Behind Bars Once and For All If He Is Elected
PALM BEACH, FL- Former President Donald Trump gave a statement from his Florida residence earlier today that he would hold Bart Rathbone accountable for all the things he’s done in his past. We asked him for a word this afternoon: “Bart Rathbone is crooked, very crooked. In fact, I call him Bart Crookedbone, that’s what…
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All SONN posts come true in the future
THE FUTURE- Our on-site reporter was stuck in the future after a glitch in our “where are they now” machine. The year 2026, which surprisingly we’re all still on earth in, has some news of its own. As well as every even semi-satirical political news post coming true, our own Odyssey-specific news came to pass…
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Morrie Rydell Sure Putin is Bringing Out the Good in Ukraine
ODYSSEY, USA- We interviewed Morrie Rydell a few days ago, who gave his thoughts on the war in Ukraine. “I don’t really know much about either country, but if there’s one thing I know from kidnapping, threatening death, and gaslighting, it’s that when someone does something like this, it’s to bring out the best in…
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Hal Smith’s Whit Looks Down on Odyssey in Disgust
GONE BUT NOT FORGOTTEN- We interviewed the original John Whittaker today to allow him to discuss with us his thoughts on the present state of his town. His answers surprised us. First he told us his thoughts on the spiritual nature of the town. He said, ”I am appalled at the way my daughter was…
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Rydell Children: “We were playing games”!
WASHINGTON D.C– Two children named Morrie and Suzu Rydell were caught in a National Guard uniform after sacking a man called “Joe Biden”. The two children were found in a room by an NSA agent known as Tasha Forbes. According to her report, the person was locked in an inflatable escape room and had mere…
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President Farkus declares today “Flick Buddy’s Ear Day”
While our top reporters were on the field today, President Dion Farkus declared today “flick Buddy’s ear month”. He reported that the president also declared the right-index finger “the most sacred of all fingers”. We spoke to Mr. Farkus later that day. It turned out that the President of the United States was in fact…