Category: People
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After Ben Shapiro’s Smashing Success, Bernard Walton Decides to Diss Kids With Dirty Fingers
ODYSSEY, USA- Tom MacDonald decided to let Bernard Walton come into his studio and record after Ben Shapiro declared his “rap Hannukkah” complete this week. The single album highlighted Bernard’s frustration with ice-cream-fingered children, and included lyrics such as “I’ll stuff you with chocolate and call you the Easter bunny”. Many are calling this a…
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All SONN posts come true in the future
THE FUTURE- Our on-site reporter was stuck in the future after a glitch in our “where are they now” machine. The year 2026, which surprisingly we’re all still on earth in, has some news of its own. As well as every even semi-satirical political news post coming true, our own Odyssey-specific news came to pass…
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Morrie Rydell Sure Putin is Bringing Out the Good in Ukraine
ODYSSEY, USA- We interviewed Morrie Rydell a few days ago, who gave his thoughts on the war in Ukraine. “I don’t really know much about either country, but if there’s one thing I know from kidnapping, threatening death, and gaslighting, it’s that when someone does something like this, it’s to bring out the best in…
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Eugene’s Entire Life Just Fever Dream From Four Corners
OAK PARK, CO- Eugene Meltsner woke up on an uneventful day to find himself in a completely different home. He was in a room with Bryant Jennings, who had made him breakfast the earlier day. He was shocked and confused at the same time. According to Mr. Jennings, he continued to repeat, “Where is everyone?…
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Club Commenters Place Cardboard J*llian on Donkey
COLORADO SPRINGS, CO- As commenters prepared for The Great Day of J*llian, they marched to the entrance of town with a large cardboard cutout of her. They placed her upon a rented donkey and paraded downtown. They even went to the local In-n-Out and took some palm leaves to wave as. It was an incredibly…