Author: John Tuttle III
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Mr. Whittaker In Trouble After Details Of His Life Before Moving To Odyssey Emerge
ODYSSEY, USA – Local business owner John Whittaker is in hot water after The Odyssey Tattler leaked images of Mr. Whittaker online. These images purport to show the other life of John Whittaker, before he moved to the small town of Odyssey. Mr. Whittaker has vehemently denied the allegations, despite the pictures clearly showing him…
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Mr. Skint Released From Prison After Clarifying His Crimes Were “only games”
Career criminal and con artist Jebediah Skint was released from Statesville Prison this last week after serving six months of his sentence. Judge Simon Jones heard the appeal from Skint’s lawyer. The argument form his attorney was very simple. “My client, Jebediah Skint was convicted of crimes for which he is innocent. He never meant…
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Jillian Marshall Revealed To Be A Huge Joyce Meyer Fan
ODYSSEY, USA – Today Connie Kendall and her sister Jules arrived home early from their morning service at Odyssey Community Church. They were shocked at what they saw when they walked in the door. The two Kendall sisters walked through the door and surprised their roommate. Jillian Marshall leapt from her place on the couch…
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Morrie Rydell Confused After Getting Coal In His Stocking Christmas Morning
ODYSSEY, USA – Christmas morning, Morrie Rydell was surprised to get coal in his stocking. When Morrie Rydell got up Christmas morning at the Whittaker residence, he rushed downstairs to open Christmas presents. Mr. Whittaker suggested Morrie and his sister first open up their stockings. Morrie felt the hard objects inside his stocking, and excitedly…
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Bart Rathbone Starts New Line Of Sparkling Water Named “Don’t Call Me Pop!”
ODYSSY, USA – Today Bart Rathbone announced a new line of flavored sparkling water that he will be selling in the Electric Palace. Mr. Rathbone told reporters, “I’m announcin’ dis here new line of sparklin drink! Da guys told me it was healthier than soda but I can’t tell da diff’rence! So I’m gonna be…
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John Whittaker’s Company Universal Press Foundation Goes Bankrupt Because Who Reads Encyclopedias Anymore?
CHICAGO, IL – Today John Whittaker held a press conference in front of the Universal Press Foundation. During the press conference, he revealed to the reporters that UPF is going bankrupt due to the emergence of the digital age and the ever-growing lack of a need for physical encyclopedias. John Whittaker said “Our children now…
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Officer David Harley Comes Forward To Codemn Focus On The Family For Caving To Cancel Culture 32 Years Ago
ODYSSEY, USA – Today we were privileged to sit down for an exclusive interview with former Odyssey police officer David Harley. A full transcript of the interview can be read below. SONN: So, Mr. Harley, you have come forward today to tell us your story. David Harley: Yes. I am greatly disheartened by the actions…
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Jillian Marshall Attempts To Put Candles On The Christmas Tree, Burns Down House
ODYSSEY, USA – Today, firefighters were called to Kendall residence after a fire started there. The firefighters worked hard to put out the blaze, but it had already spread too fast, and the house was gutted. In the evening, a resident at the house named Jillian Marshall was home alone decorating the tree. She gave…
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Mark Zuckerberg Anounces Partnership With Andromeda Incorporated For Creation Of The Metaverse
SILICON VALLEY, CA – Today Mark Zuckerberg, president of Facebook, announced a new partnership for the creation of their new Metaverse. Zuckerberg announced at a Facebook summit that in order to accomplish the big project of building the Metaverse, they will be partnering with fellow technology company Andromeda Incorporated. Zuckerberg stated “We have a long,…
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John Whittaker Goes Back In Time In The Imagination Station To Delete Bethany’s Flood
ODYSSEY, USA – Today, ice cream shop owner John Whittaker went back in time in his time machine to get rid of an episode of popular radio series Adventures in Odyssey. Whittaker used an invention of his called “the Imagination Station.” He wanted to go back in time to delete episode #444c “Bethany’s Flood.” Whittaker…